So,
Today would be my mom’s birthday if she were still alive. Whenever I make decisions (other than what to eat or wear), I wonder what I would be deciding if she was still alive or if I would even be in the position to make that decision in the first place. Would I be moving to Chicago if she was alive? Would I have gone on the trip to Chicago last November? Would I have looked for jobs there? Would I have gone to grad school here? Would I have lived in the house I’ve been living in? Who knows? I’m reading The Life of Pi now. Pi was describing what it’s like losing various people in your life:
“To lose a brother is to lose someone with whom you can share the experience of growing old, who is supposed to bring you a sister-in-law and nieces and nephews, creatures to people the tree of your life and give it new branches. To lose your father is to lose the one whose guidance and help you seek, who supports you like a tree trunk supports its branches. To lose your mother, well, that is like losing the sun above you. It’s like losing — I’m sorry, I would rather not go on.”
I’m listening to Regina Spektor’s new album, Far. I’m on the third song and, so far, it’s not that great. Oh-4 sounds kind of nice…Nevermind. 5 is not good. “Dance Anthem of the 80s” is okay.
Finding roommates is a pain in the butt.
-Me
*HUG*